Since Covid and since people began relocating abroad again, there has been a different discussion in the UK about grandparents retiring abroad and the impact this has on adult children, particularly as childcare costs continue to rise.
On one side sits the dream many retirees have held for decades: a different quality of life, warmer climate and lower cost of living overseas. On the other sits the reality facing many working families, where grandparents have become an essential part of the childcare system.
This tension, which is emotional, practical and financial, is what we might call the “Grandparent Conundrum”.
But it’s not about right or wrong, it’s more about managing expectations and dependencies.
Is there a surge in British retirees moving abroad?
It would be simplistic to describe what we are seeing as a sudden spike because the past decade has been distorted by both Brexit and Covid.
Many, if not all, relocation plans were paused, delayed or abandoned entirely. As a result, recent increases in retiree moves may represent delayed demand coming through rather than a structural shift in long-term behaviour.
However, one change which is apparent: the financial profile of retirees relocating today appears to be different from that of pre-Brexit retirees.
Residency rules across Europe now typically require demonstrable income or savings. Combined with higher living costs and more structured visa systems, this has filtered who can realistically make the move.
Retirees relocating to Europe today tend to have higher incomes and stronger asset bases than those who moved 15 or 20 years ago.
Where are British retirees going?
In truth, there isn’t much of a shift, even with post-Brexit rules in place and traditional destinations remain dominant including France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Cyprus.
But interest beyond Europe appears to be growing, especially beyond the US and Australia which were also traditional destinations.
Thailand, in particular, has seen increased attention. Lifestyle quality, affordability and comparatively straightforward visa frameworks are frequently cited as reasons. It also provides geographic access to Australia and New Zealand while remaining more financially accessible than relocating permanently to either.
The motivation is rarely just sunshine. It is usually a combination of cost, climate, healthcare access and perceived quality of life.
But Europe remains the leader for British expats, and the proximity to the UK, and family, is still understood to be a key factor in this decision.
Childcare in the UK
At the same time, childcare costs in the UK have become a significant financial burden for working families.
Grandparents play a major role in bridging this gap and a large proportion of UK grandparents provide regular childcare, often averaging around ten hours per week. The economic value of this informal support runs into tens of billions of pounds annually.
For families reliant on this structure, proximity matters.
When retirees move abroad, that support disappears. The financial implications can be significant, particularly for single parents or self-employed professionals whose income depends on flexibility.
This is where the emotional narrative tends to take hold.
How significant is guilt?
There is sometimes an assumption that grandparents who relocate experience intense guilt about leaving grandchildren behind.
In reality, the picture is more nuanced.
In British culture, grandparental childcare is typically voluntary rather than formalised. It is not culturally prescribed in the way it may be in parts of Southern Europe or Asia, where multi-generational living is more common.
Where family relationships are strong and communication is open, expectations are usually discussed before relocation. Where independence has always defined the family structure, relocation rarely introduces a new dependency.
For many retirees, the decision is less about rejecting family responsibility and more about aligning lifestyle with long-held aspirations.
The emotional tension often arises not from the move itself, but from mismatched expectations.
After all, guilt is not in itself a barrier to moving abroad, but a reason to communicate more and discuss the difficult subject to avoid it becoming a more significant behavioural situation.
A different model of grandparenting
There is also a perspective that receives less attention.
For some retirees, relocating abroad represents a different kind of legacy. It demonstrates that later life is not defined by contraction, but by expansion.
Instead of providing weekly school runs, they provide:
- Exposure to new cultures
- Extended summer stays abroad
- A broadened worldview
- A visible example that age does not limit possibility
For grandchildren, visiting a grandparent overseas can become formative. It reframes retirement as something dynamic rather than static.
This does not replace practical childcare support. But it does redefine the relationship.
Balancing the financial complexity of living abroad
The greater challenges retirees face are often related to money and wealth rather than emotions and family matters. Managing money across borders introduces additional layers of complexity:
- Dual tax considerations
- Residency status changes
- Pension structuring
- Estate planning across jurisdictions
- Exposure to currency fluctuations
Currency risk is particularly relevant for retirees drawing UK pensions while living abroad. Sterling volatility has been more pronounced since 2016. For those on fixed incomes, exchange rate movements can materially affect purchasing power.
Healthcare funding, long-term care planning and understanding local systems also require careful consideration.
None of these issues are insurmountable. But they require careful planning and shouldn’t be attempted without specialist help.
Asking difficult question before moving
The grandparent conundrum ultimately comes down to communication with everybody involved before making the final decision or relocating. The following are questions that might help retirees guide difficult conversations:
- How often do they realistically want to see grandchildren?
- Are they prepared for travel costs and time commitments?
- Could they afford to move back if circumstances changed?
- Have family expectations been openly discussed?
- Have they modelled the financial implications of living abroad long term?
Retirement abroad is rarely about selfishness or sacrifice, but there will always be trade-offs and opportunity costs.
How to decide whether retiring abroad is the right decision?
Ultimately, that’s the wrong way of viewing it because there is no “right answer” when making decisions like this.
There are positives and negatives, opportunities and threats – but no one single right decision.
For some families, proximity outweighs lifestyle. For others, independence and affordability shape the decision. The key is not whether retirees move abroad, but whether expectations are aligned before they do.
With honest conversations, planning and support, the “grandparent conundrum” becomes less a conflict and more a considered life choice which can provide amazing opportunities for everybody involved.
